A Wake Up Call

Wow.  My husband doesn't want to have sex with me.  I've brought up getting it on a few times lately, like I have over the years in our marriage, without directly asking him but strongly hinting, and now instead of returning the innuendo, he dances around it.  Today he stopped home over his lunch long enough to drop the stroller off and I asked him about it directly, and he said he doesn't like our place being dirty (as in dishes needing to be done and things disorganized), and I pushed him a bit more, and he said, "I find you attractive"...not I want to have sex with you.  I started crying, so I walked away so he wouldn't see it.  He said to the girls, sounds like your mom needs to be sexed up.  He came and gave me a hug and kiss on the top of the head good bye, said he found me attractive.  He asked if I was ok, I said, I just have to come to terms with it. He didn't say any more.

I'm torn between going back to bed in depression and getting out there for a walk.  I'll go for the walk, luckily I have a destination I need to get to, and I'll work on my resolve while I'm out for it.  But still, wow.